make not a feeling. That lovey feeling and infatuation you had...it won't stay. Trust me. In coming from broken relationships, they will disappoint you. They will mess up. It's how we handle it that matters most. Especially when we take that final decision of marriage. To me..marriage is final. The one I choose..well that's it for me. I don't have the mental attitude of divorce even being an option. Even when he messes up or does something selfish..I will be there. Even when the love goes away, and it will, I must carry on. It's like my relationship with my kids. I made that decision to be a mom. They can drive me crazy. They can make my house a mess in one second. They leave dirty clothes even after I repeatedly tell them not to. But do I divorce them? Do I kick them out? No. I made a commitment. A commitment to be their parent and mom. The love and support them no matter what they make me feel at times. Irregardless I am their mom. That won't change. To me, that's how we should be in all our relationships. Even if someone fails us or disappoints us. Or they do something so incredibly selfish..we do not do evil for evil. Not as a Christian. We don't do paybacks. In Corinthians 13, it tells us what love should be. How we should be. No matter what forces in life we come against and the person next to us does..and no matter what the feelings inside. Push away the evil thoughts and retrain it to good. It takes time. For me, I became so frustrated in what I was not receiving and what he was not giving me, that it ruined that relationship. True..it takes two..but in hindsight..we need to show love even when it's not felt. To not dwell on the failures of them but on what we can do instead to show love. We pay back evil with love. As much as they can drive you up the wall and do something so maddening...think about this. We do all that and more with God. We cheat on Him, we fail Him, we lie to Him, we are so selfish to Him..and He still loves us. Wow. That's the kind of love we must try to aim to be. We don't hurt. We don't cause pain. We don't give them cold shoulders or spiteful words. No..when they hurt you..and people will. My kids will. I must love them anyways. I WILL love them anyways. After all I made that commitment to them and it will never change. They are a part of me..just as,if I marry, my husband will be too. God has asked this of us. He shares that we are of "one flesh". That we leave our parents and cleave together. We unite as one. So most assuredly, he/she is a part of our life. What good is it, if one part is bitter and hostile? If one part dwells on all wrongs? If one is critical and judgmental? Can a body function like that? Can I be a good parent or friend to someone if I am like that? Love..
Today's goal..love! Even if it kills you..love. Even if you don't feel it inside..love.
Look again to what you can do to show love. Well, Jill, what if I don't love them anymore? You can. Even if that love feeling is gone..you must train yourself to be it anyway. Love isn't just a feeling but a choice. We choose to love even when they fail us. Even when the feeling isn't there right now. When bad thoughts come, think on the good things..push the bad away. Only the devil puts the negative where the positive should be. Who would you rather listen to? God or the devil?
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves. Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too.