Needless to say, it has been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.
From the struggles of my husband coming off of anxiety/depression medications, financial hardship, to the joys of our son being born,,,
Then the worst thing any parent could imagine, happened.
I was so worried over mundane things until then..bills were nothing compared to what the next day held.
I awoke in the morning with a sense that something wasnt right.
Over the night, Josiah wouldnt wake up to eat..
I called the doctors office but they told me it was normal..that he was just going through a "growing time".
As the day went past, Josiah still remained very sleepy and I couldnt get him to eat anything...
I called the doctors office again..they said wait over the weekend, and if he still didnt eat anything, to bring him in monday.
That just didnt make sense to me, as he was only two weeks only..surely no baby could go several days without fluids..
Finally, I reached out to my friend again, and she agreed, that we should take him to get checked out at the local emergency room.
As we walked into the back, everything happened in a blur.
Within 15 minutes, they were telling me he was very sick and transferring him to Childrens Hospital in Atlanta..
No words could describe the fear that came over my husband and I as the words sank in that he had meningitis.
Our little boy..just two weeks old.
That week was the worst week of my life.
We went from the emergency room at childrens, to a regular floor room...then as time moved on, Josiah became even sicker..the next morning having seizures. We kept saying something something wasnt right..something was wrong..and finally a night shift nurse listened, got the new doctor on for the evening to come look at Josiah. Then we were moving to PICU...my heart staying in my throat the whole time as I watched on edge as the monitors beeped or alarmed..my eyes always staying on Josiah. I was going on almost 3 days of no sleep.
I was a wreck...
then we moved to NICU..and thats where Josiah started to finally get better.
The neurologist walked into the door the exact time Josiah had a seizure and immediately gave him medication.
I know most definitely that that was a God moment.
He was having them so sporadically that no one could really catch them..
Praise God, he never had a seizure after that.
It wasnt the end, as his MRI showed that he did have inflammation, and he was a very sick little baby.
But God placed us in the best place possible with the most wonderful doctors and nurses I could ever ask for.
During the 3 weeks we were there, they rode the rollercoaster with me.
They gave me hugs when I cried, lending their comfort when I was scared..and rejoiced with us when he started to get better.
Each time Josiah achieved another victory, I wasnt the only one celebrating..they were also.
I could write a book on all the blessings I received in the storm.
The friendships I made and the stories I was given of other parents journeys...I will remember always.
When I thought my life, my struggle was horrible, I was opened up to another parents struggle that was much more worse then mine.
As I walked down the halls, there was children with only a few strands of hair, smiling brightly,..a little toddler, pulling his oxygen tank.
Parents holding firm to the hope of God, in the midst of tragedy.
The people I met, shared their strength in God..even though the life they were living was so horrible.
I will never ever forget those 3 weeks of living at the Ronald Mcdonald House and also Childrens Hospital. I will never forget the staff that helped us so much in such a desperate time, or also with the other parents going through their own.
Life is a gift..a blessing.
My Josiahs MRI was very bleak, the doctors prognosis not good..but I know that God is the Physician.
I know He loves Josiah even more then we do, as his parents..that He will take care of our child.
There have been so many many people praying for him..and as we have been home, I see the prayers, the miracles happening in his life.
Where he wasnt able to focus on anything, he can.
Where he couldnt eat anymore, he can.
His ng tube is GONE!
He has already gained weight, lifting his head and kicking his arms and legs.
Things we didnt know he would be able to do, he is already doing.
Thats what prayers will do..
People asked me how I stayed so strong with God, when it was so terrible..
How I smiled amidst my tears..
Because I had HOPE..I had TRUST.
I know what this world holds is but temporary..and what is ahead is so much better.
I also know God loves my child even more then I do..and I knew He would provide.
What would there be in life without hope?
Without something eternal to hold onto?
Never forget your not alone..and remember, if God got you to it, He will get you through it.
I can testify to that!!